Hey hey hey…. Wow I seriously haven’t updated…. Ok I’m just gonna get to the point of this…. Life is too short… there is sooo much going on in the world today and do we actually stop and pay attention to it… most of us this answer would be no… It’s the little things in life that count… know like a note your bestfriend left in your locker… the simple good luck’s before a game… the dumbest conversations you have with people… that’s what counts… now a days its all about competition and no one cares what is going on… just like most people say you live and learn… takes risk, change, do something… There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live… we have the ability to do anything… but do we? Not normally… don’t stay mad at someone over a little argument... talk about it and trust me it will work… I really don’t know exactly where I am going with this and it really doesn’t make sense but yea…

new topic… lets talk about change since that seems to be the major transition right now… change isn’t always a bad thing… but change your ways for you… or else it can turn into a bad thing… If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. Its up to us to make a difference in this world and I think its time we realize that…

the choices we make today can change our lives forever… choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you…. You have to choose where you look, and in making that choice you eliminate entire worlds…Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a thing to be achieved… Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely… whether you choose to grow in what you learn is your choice….

Never leave your friends… One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible… if you think about who your friends are.. are they just a friend or a real friend…?? A friend knows who you are and the basics… a real friend can finish your sentences and knows you better than you know yourself… ok well I am ending this for now…

That probably didn’t make any sense… but o well… and if anybody wants me to write about anything in particular feel free to comment… well that’s about it.. I love you
                                             Love Always,
                                                   *ness*

NO matter how much
you try and satisfy someone else
Givin it all you have
Why even bother??
Theres just that something
Standing in the way
Its so confusing
But why do it?
Is it worth it?
In my eyes, yes...
You feel differently
But the way you look at her
I can see it
I see why its worth it
Love for you...
is real...
i just wish you would understand
open your eyes
and see it
open your heart
and feel it
but you dont...
i Pretend that i'm glad you went away
but deep down
it hurts...
and nobody knows it but me
I saw you before i met you,
i loved you before i knew the real you,
in a blink of an eye,
my dreams became reality,
but what i didnt see...
was that you hurt me
I'm sorry for being in love
With the guy i cannot have
I'm sorry for trying so hard
Trying to make things happen...
I'm sorry for loving you so much
Because you can't love me the way i do
I'm sorry for tomorrow
For not saying " goodbye "
I can only tell you so many times
before you have to act on your own
so now i'm saying it,
"Good-bye"....
*for him*

Hey hey hey…. Its been a while… a lot has happened…. Ok I don’t feel like talking about what has happened but I need to give a lecture to some person… a promise can mean the world to somebody… the minute its broken… can ruin an entire lifetime… I say things because I care…. You may not see it but I really do… Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours… the past is done and over with… nothing can change that… but all we can do is hope for a better future… Its funny how so many people are taken for granted these days… its pretty sad…. You know one day you think they will always be there and the next its as if they were never there… this is just life in general… Times are changing now and people are drifting but it doesn’t have to be like that… drift closer…  Throughout life there are always going to be struggles and hardships that we must face… all of it is one big lesson… there isn’t always going to be someone right there physically to help you get up… If you fell and tripped over because you were relying on someone else's feet....then you've got to learn to climb back up with your own… It’s a matter of life… it’s a matter of independence… it’s a matter of moving on… Nothing real ever has a happy ending… which is why movies are NOT reality! Things don’t change… we do… its something to accept… It takes years to call someone your best friend but seconds to say you hate them… don’t talk shit because that one person may turn out to be your best friend… open your eyes to everything… see what’s in front of you but want to see the world… Trust can take years to build up but just seconds to shatter… Try to see if you're perfect, then change your name to nobody…30 years from now its not going to matter what shoes you wore, how your hair looked, or the pair of jeans you bought. What will matter is what you learned and how it helped you to get where you are... god made family to comfort--but he made friends to understand… Be yourself.. It’s who you do best! Life isn’t about pleasing other people… its about being who you are and living the way you want to… just make sure you don’t hurt the people you care about in the process…

At times it may be hard to accept what happened in the past but.. You have to accept the past to change the future… Nothing is perfect… no matter how much we would like it to be… its not… The world is a messed up place, and to tell the truth, I like it that way… it just makes it so much easier for things not to be perfect… that is what makes life fun… forget about the drama… forget about the sorrows just be happy… tomorrow is a new day… you know the saying don’t judge a book by its cover… well when we begin to hate someone for who they are, we really start to hate ourselves for who we are not… and when we think about it do we really know who they are? There are so many people these days that think they are better than others when in reality they aren’t… if you can take the time to judge someone why not take the time to get to know them and have a REAL reason to judge?  VANESSA JASMINE CANAL everything is going to be ok! Just remember that!  Nothing lasts forever. So love what you have while you still have it. Don't take anything for granted 'cause you never know when something will come to an end… Sometimes I wish I could just fast-forward through time, just to see if it's worth it all in the end… but then I think about it… it wouldn’t be worth fast forwarding because we would never know how wonderful life can be…

No guy is worth your tears and the one who is wont make you cry… seriously its not worth it!! You can always close your eyes to the things you don't wanna see...but you can't close your heart to the things you don't wanna feel…. An old friend used to tell me that just because you are heart broken doesn’t mean you lost your ability to move on and it doesn’t mean you can shut out your heart to the world… Every penny in a well,every broken wish bone, every 11:11 on a clock, every crossed finger, every turn of a necklace pendant, every star in the sky, every fallen eyelash, every blown out candle, every wish I could make....will never give me you… why? I just don’t get it… so now it’s come to the conclusion to move on… you’ll miss out never knowing what you had…. The worst thing a guy could do is lead her on and not intend to catch her when she falls…. Been in that situation just recently and it’s the worst feeling ever… but in the end it just makes you stronger… don’t be afraid to love because everybody is different and not everyone will hurt you… Every day she sees him and every time she smiles she hopes he is watching…. Not to see she is happy but just maybe for that split second he will fall for her as hard as she fell for him… Its unreal how someone can make you feel… its unexplainable… someone is going to hurt you at some point in your life...its up to you to decided who is worth it and who is not…. It seems like you are the only one who can make me smile this way... throughout life sometimes you only get once chance... Sometimes it's now or never... Do you ever miss me? Do you ever miss the way we used to be? When we used to talk & laugh & flirt? Do you miss our conversations? And what about our dumb sarcasm that only you & I understand? Do you ever miss any of that? I think that maybe you do, because sometimes when I look at you, you’ll randomly look at me & stop what you’re doing just so you can look into my eyes like you used to & even though it only 2 seconds, do you miss that? I can’t be the only one who does. If I could show you how much I was hurting you’d never be able to look me in the eyes again.... The best thing was loving you...the worst was letting you go & the hardest is watching you never come back...

Ok I think I am done now… too much going on… please comment on this… and anon.. person goodness get a life! I swear you can talk all this shit but cant leave your name? o yea that makes me really scared… whatever dude!! Get a LIFE!! MONIQUE are you ready to show coaches what we got??? Lol think the league is ready for us?? I don’t!    Have a nice day… I <3 you!
                                        Love Always,
                                             ~ness

Well well well its time for my weekly update…. It was daily now its like whenever I have the time…. Ok anyways…. Wow this last weekend was just wow! Ok Friday I didn’t do much… babysat my children… I swear it should be counted for community service since I do more of that than actually go to school!! Then Saturday morning I had to go to work! That is always fun… I leave there and I feel like I did something productive even though it is very tiring… then my gangsta grandma rolled in and picked me up! Then we went SHOPPING! That was fun… we went to santa ana to get some more stuff for my quinceañera!  That was exhausting…. Right when we got there we ate! Of course its what I do best!! We left there around 2ishh and went back to my grandma’s and my grandpa brought me and ERNIE back to my casa… we had quinceañera practice… by the way ERNIE I need to talk to you…. I had a really weirded out dream…. So anyways… practice was really fun… it always is…. We need to finish the dance…. Then amy and andrea a. stayed for a while and we took Vincent to tanner’s house to play poker!! I’m gonna play next week with NICHOLAS and take his money! LoL… so like always practice turned into a party!! Everyone finally left at 6:00 in the morning!! They are crazy! So now for the day that actually mattered this weekend…

SUNDAY: I woke up and went to andrea a’s practice… that was interesting I guess you could say… then went to Jonathon’s b-day party… and then… dun dun dun… I went to St. Anthony’s to do community service… well to my understanding I was just supposed to take roll and walk around blah blah blah… well the day that I go they had a guest speaker… I thought “well this will be better than I thought” and Deacon….? I forgot his name… started talking about abortion and all this stuff…. So here is my perspective of LIFE…

read carefully…. One Faith, One Body, One Belief…. ONE GOD! Always have faith in what you do…. And as my quote at the top of this says…. Life ONE day at a time…. And its so true… there is no use of getting mad about something so small and you cant change it so why not just DEAL WITH IT! I fight a lot with my parents and I’m sick of having to watch my brothers all the time… to me its not fair… im just a kid! I could so relate to the deacon and what he was talking about… he was like yea I grew up with my parents drinking all the time and always having to take care of everyone… and how he always got into it with his parents… but he learned many lessons in the process…. It was just amazing how everything I was going through at that very moment he spoke about and it slowly drifted away… so back to LIFE…. Appreciate it… I may not tell everyone how I feel all the time because its just not me…. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care…. It doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be there… because no matter what I always will…. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s the problem….nobody is perfect and people make mistakes… its all the process of life…. Try to see if you're perfect, then change your name to nobody….To make a mistake is one thing but to accept it is gives you the abiltiy to move on….laugh while you can, learn while you can, forgive while you can, and live when you can because you only get one chance! You only have one chance at this… if you do it right… one chance is always enough…. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how….To believe is to know that life is a miracle and all that we dream of is within or reach…Today could be a good day, Tomarrow could be a bad day. But no matter wat just rememeber the one thing that counts ur alive and thats a good thing not to forget…. did you know that 1/3 of OUR generation is GONE… why? All because of ABORTION…. If its against the law to kill (also one of the ten commandments) then why isn’t against the law to kill an unborn baby…? Something to think about… if something has a heartbeat isn’t it alive?? At three weeks…. You can hear a heartbeat… at four weeks… abortion pops in… how does this make any sense??? Ladies and gentlemen I am finished for the day….. I love you!
                                               Love Always,
                                                    ~ness
p.s. please think about this

Its been a while since the last update so let me inform you… first off anon.. person stop talking your shit! Obviously my webpage means something to you if you can take your precious time and say something! And you know what the people who I talk about are the ones that care and like my site… if you don’t then just don’t come here!! Its that easy!! And oOoOo I am sooo scared of you… dude at least have the decency to put your NAME!!! your gonna talk all this shit and not put your name… WHY??? Hmm could it be because your scared?? Because you cant back it up?? Hmm who knows? Step it UP!!!I don’t care what you think of me!!! I could care less!! Wow you don’t like me I don’t give a FUCK!! I don’t even know who you are so stay out of my site and if you have a problem with me then come tell me to my face and deal with it then! You have no right to be judging me!!!! Get a life!!

 Ok anyways…. Back to life! So yea I went to the mountains this past weekend... that was interesting… we went snowboarding…. And RAYMOND and my DAD had to doubt me to go on the freakin huge hill so of course I did it!!

Snowboard: $50.00
Shoes:$50.00
Vanessa eating it: PRICELESS!!
I have to admit it was funny but I have a really big bruise and my ankle is messed up! That wasn’t good… so yea anyways… we took lots of pictures so when I get them I will post them on myspace… princess_4evr2004@sbcglobal.net... Check it out… so yea what else is new… we had a game today… and lost… of course…. Goodness I hate this freakin coach… its time to quit!!! Ugh she bugs all she does is yell and cuss at us for something that isn’t even our fault!! Seriously Coach Gutierrez was a wayyyy better coach! He actually knew what he was doing!!

 Ok yea next topic… life is umm ok I guess right now… please keep KRYSTYNE PEDROZA in your prayers… she was in a car accident this past Saturday… she is ok but there was severe damage…. Please take this into consideration and pray for her…. As well as some very close friends of mine… don’t worry girl everything is gonna be aight!! Just keep your head up and let God lead the way…

Ok now for my daily or in this case like every so often quotes… It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for who you are not!! oOo that one is the best of them all!! Always remember others may hate you but htose who hate you don’t win unless you hate them but by not hating…. You will beat them at their own game….There is so much good in the worst of us…. And so much bad in the best of us…That is hardly in any of us… to talk about the rest of us.... so yea must be going for now…. Home game on Thursday at 4:30 so come and support us!! You will be loved!! I love you!
                                        Love Always,
                                               ~ness

Hey everyone… its been a while since I’ve updated…. There has been a lot going on lately… today was a horrible day! well not that bad… but it was still bad…Amy and Vanessa I’m not done talking to you guys! Seriously u need to know the WHOLE story! Ok so yea anyways… I was dancing with andrea today after school… gosh memories… we were dancing to crystal clear by jacki velasquez! Then when I was walking home… it just like hit me… time goes by sooo fast….. and you don’t even realize it…. it seems like just yesterday…. Dre and I were sitting in Mrs. Hortons room doing vocabulary talking about how our cousins were bestfriends… and playing on the playground… and all this other stuff… life just gets harder and there isn’t anything we can do about it…. put the past behind you since u cant change that either and look ahead…. Gosh I have so much to talk about but it just wont come out fast enough… live one day at a time…. I also found out that a person is going to my quinceanera… a person that I strongly dislike…. I mean he means nothing to me now… he finally decides to show up in my life right now? And he keeps promises he cant keep… so maybe he wont come… who knows with that guy! But I did find out that my uncle is coming down from Chicago! I am so excited! So yea… I hate basketball right now! Its freakin annoying! Its not even fun anymore… and for the coach to say the things she says… doesn’t work for me… I cant even explain it… I am ready to leave the team! Cant wait until spring league huh MONIQUE! Its gonna be me and her on varsity! Haha that should be fun… vegas watch out cuz the monique’s are gonna be there!! Haha…. Well yea back to life… which goes by so fast…. Next thing you know I’ma be out of high school and in college… then who knows what I’ll be doin after that… it’s a scary thought when I think about it now…. Just make wise choices… don’t do something you will regret… remember who your true friends are and don’t leave the ones you got for other friends cuz once you do that…. They wont be there…. Just always remember who you are….. and stick with who you got…. Don’t let anything or anybody come between you and your clique…. Its so weird seeing how so many people have changed… its like wow remember three years ago we were just talking about this and that and omg yea… I hate time! It goes to fast! Ok yea I better go now… don’t really wanna say no more… keep it gangsta….
                                         Love Always,
                                            ~ness